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February 14, 2007
Hey, we could fall in love and be happy
It being Valentine's Day, I've been thinking about love.
Actually, scratch that. Having just spent a week in San Francisco with my boyfriend, while all the time thinking fondly of my husband, I've been thinking about love.
Hmm. Scratch that, too. Having just seen someone tend to a lover in hospital, while simultaneously furious with them about a (totally valid) complaint, I've been thinking about love.
Or maybe it's all of the above.
----
I've tended, over the years, to be someone who loses herself in relationships. I've moved more times than I care to discuss to follow lovers all over this country and a couple others to boot. In doing so, I've uprooted friendships and reinvented myself several times over. When I fell in love with Francis, six or so years ago, I was afraid of doing the exact same thing. For months I argued with myself, feeling I should stay in Boston rather than moving, yet again, for love.
But I realized that something was different about the relationship. Instead of changing to suit my lover, I felt more like myself than I ever had before. And I realized that Boston wasn't so far away, and that I could keep all my friends there while making new ones in NYC. It's been six years, and I have seen myself grow and change and prosper with the support of the wonderful Francis.
In the past few months, I've been learning all over again the lesson of how terrific it is to have a love who adds to my life rather than takes away. It's important to be an individual, but it's through our interactions with other people that we define who we are. And I really love who I am with Danny, and I love that I'm folding his friends and his life and his city into my own life and identity.
In short: I am a very lucky woman. All the love in my life makes me better and stronger and calmer and happier.
I think this means I have to get on with my long-term plan of changing the world, though. Yay!
Posted by Rose at February 14, 2007 07:20 PM
Comments
"It's important to be an individual, but it's through our interactions with other people that we define who we are."
You said this when we had tea a couple of weeks ago, and my head went "ding!"
But then I forgot it again.
Thanks for writing it down. Will you be my outboard brain?
Posted by: I. at February 19, 2007 11:37 PM
*I felt more like myself than I ever had before*
I've been there.... and I lost the life and love I had... and although yes, I still felt more me than ever before... I lost so much in return.
Posted by: Wenchy at May 12, 2007 03:22 AM