Heaneyland!

Somehow, I think everyone else in the world is thinking about different things than I am when they read these articles

One of my coworkers compiles a handout of the day's gossip pages each morning (which may explain this entry to anyone who was wondering what I was doing reading Cindy Adams), which means that I get a daily dose of the Post's horrible, horrible editorial cartoons. But today I thought to myself, maybe I'm just not giving this Sean Delonas fellow a chance. Maybe his work only seems shallow, and if I study it closely, I will discover a hidden layer of complexity and symbolism. And perhaps I will annotate that symbolism with blue magic marker and post it on my blog.

Elsewhere in the Post's gossip pages was this sentence, which I have rendered below with screwed-up spacing painstakingly replicated:

Keanu Reeves -- concerned about the deterio rating health of his be loved sister, Kim -- is keeping a low-key pres ence at Sun dance while promoting his upcoming flick, "Thumbsucker."

One extra space in a single sentence is an accident. Two is carelessness. Three is evidence of high blood alcohol content. Four??? Four is a conspiracy.