Heaneyland!

When the roll is called up yonder, I'll be busy

While Rose and I were out drinking with friends last night, we were talking about Shabbos goys -- you know, non-Jews who will do stuff on the Sabbath that Jews aren't supposed to do (turn on lights, eat bacon) -- and the conversation turned to how other religions might take advantage of the same concept. So we came up with something I think could be a great moneymaking idea for atheists like me: Rapture heathens.

See, this would be a great way to see just how firm in their religious beliefs those Fundamentalist Christians who think the last days are upon us really are. If a Fundamentalist Christian wanted someone to oversee the disposition of their estate after the Rapture, for instance, they could hire a Rapture heathen to take care of it, in exchange for a yearly stipend. For their part, the Rapture heathen would promise not to be baptized or otherwise take Jesus into their heart as their personal savior for the duration of the contract.

I'm available for this service if anyone is interested.